I hear clients say “I don’t want to look at the past. The past is in the past, it can’t be changed.” I disagree: It can be changed. We can change everything. All-time exists NOW. If all time is now, then absolutely you can change the past. Our past lives in our perceptions, and we can change what we see by learning to make peace with it — by giving ourselves the ability to feel all that we couldn’t feel then. If we allow ourselves to feel the feelings that we’ve stored through our trauma and pain — by being present with it now and letting it go — we no longer need to hang on to all those feeling we couldn’t experience from ages 0 to 8. It’s not about reliving the past. Your past is informing your NOW all the time. As we continue to carry around those feelings and experiences we will throw them into our future. We will continue to relive it with different people and situations, but it’s the same energy that’s presenting itself in our lives. When we are triggered with anger and hurt in our NOW it is almost never about what triggered us. But that it’s a familiar feeling touching a wound. It’s an opportunity for us to become aware of what’s wanting to be noticed. Our bodies are great indicators of how we continue to carry our past with us: excessive weight, fatigue, addictions, disease, pain. These are red flags that your subconscious is trying to speak to you and you aren’t listening. We haven’t been taught tools to navigate our inner psyches and we are here now remembering our true selves. I have clients ask two simple questions when you are triggered:
- When did I first feel this feeling? This will tie back to the original emotional experience, or wounding. Just asking this question doesn’t mean you need to relive the trauma. Rather, it pulls up the stored emotions that you were unable to feel at the time. This is where healing happens.
- Where is it in my body? We store trauma and pain in our body and this helps to heal it on a cellular level.